Oh traffic. Probably one of the most detested environments of the human race.
It’s as frustrating as it is unavoidable, especially during those bright and early hours when everyone
is rushing to get to work or school on time.
But would you look at that. You’ve found yourself falling in a long, stagnant line of vehicles once
Nothing else you can do about it than accept your faith, kick back, relax and observe the glorious,
majestic and multifaceted species of the barely awake humans in their manmade habitat.
You will probably encounter some, or in some cases all, of the following;
The Maltese are quite a passionate population, so it’s only natural for this category to be the most
common type of human you will find roaming the streets.
They are identifiable through their continuous honking, aggressive body language and embellished
vocabulary which would leave anyone stunned in both offense and amazement.
The origins of their rage vary depending on the person.
Some are angry at the state of congestion that we find ourselves in nowadays. Others feel betrayed
by how slowly the person in front of them is driving – they must have missed the memo on how
Just pray to God that the rager doesn’t leave its metal cage. You do not want to face its wrath at full
These are at the opposite end of the spectrum.
You will find them with their face either squashed against their car windows, if not outside of it.
Other variations include their head thrown backwards with an open mouth and possible drooling or,
my personal favourite, face to steering wheel.
A word of caution; if you see that you’re driving behind a napper, keep your hands ready on your
The Beauty Gurus
Why rush to get yourself ready in the comfort of your own home when you have so much time to
spare in traffic? The beauty gurus are a perfect example of this.
Each of them wields their own weapon of expertise to skilfully conceal all signs of sleep deprivation.
Watch as they masterfully swipe their magical wands across their faces without flinching while still
moving at a steady pace with a well-practiced ‘klaċċ u brejk’.
Just be careful with any sudden breaking if you fit within this group. An eyeliner pencil piercing your
iris can easily turn you into the first category of this list.
If you see flailing arms and hear passionate screeching, don’t be alarmed, no one is having a spasm.
It’s probably just a morning person living their best life at six o’clock in morning.
Some might question the sanity of these beings. However, the way I see it, they are simply making
the best out of an uncomfortable situation.
And let’s be honest, why wouldn’t want to burst out into song and dance if you set your radio on
89.7 and tune in to the Bay Breakfast show?
The Lucky Ones
With their bravery, they brace the waves of traffic using only a motorbike or bicycle which spares
them a couple of hours of sleep.
You can always find them zooming through any little crevice they find.
Look at how they mock you as your buttocks starts to go numb after having sat in traffic for the past
forty-five minutes; knowing full well they’ll still get to class before you.
Which classification do you see yourself in, or are you some other endogenous species we have yet