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The real reason our lives have been a mess this week

Has your life recently gone to shambles? Yeah … same.

And according to astrology enthusiasts, the answer lies … in the planets.

The alleged source of our distress is Mercury Retrograde, an astronomical event which happens a few times a year when our planet’s position makes Mercury appear to be orbiting in reverse. This apparently wreaks all sorts of havoc on our lives. Because science.

This has been going on since the 16th of February, and when you think about it, life in Malta does seem to be going through … a time right now.

So here’s a list of things that are definitely Mercury’s fault.

The increasingly imminent Corona Virus threat

As everyone and their mother is aware, coronavirus is very present in Italy and there are even rumours that it’s gotten to Sicily, literally a 45-minute plane ride away. This is obviously because of Mercury Retrograde.

Lidl running out of stock

An issue for anyone looking for affordable pasta and toilet paper, not so much of an issue for Lidl.

The random street fights

Only one thing can explain the exponential increase in street fights in the past weeks (weren’t there like … five?): Mercury.

X Factor finishing

Perhaps the most pressing issue on this list. Yes, it finished a week before Retrograde started but apparently there’s like a two week “shadow period” (I swear I’m not making this up) so this explains EVERYTHING.