Lies Every Maltese University Student Tells Their Lecturers

university students excuses

Some might think that being a student at university is quite chill when, in reality, it’s an all-consuming experience that makes you question your sanity on a weekly basis.

“Uwejja, kemm ħa teqred!? Mhux kemm tmur erba’ lectures u titlaq id-dar?”

 

It’s like a full-time job which you have to take home with you even when your shift is over.

You have to deal with sporadic, everchanging timetables, an endless list of readings and hours upon hours of lectures.

All the while trying to maintain a decent social life and sleeping schedule.

It’s only natural for students to get the urge to rebel.

No, I’m not talking about those thoughts you have about burning the place down. You crazy pyromanic.

I’m refering to the little white lies that give you a small yet satisfactory taste of freedom.

“May I be excused please?”

When you really think about it, this question isn’t really an excuse per se.  If anything, it is a polite way of asking your lecturer to do whatever you want without having to explain yourself.

Lecturers will probably assume that you just need to go about your businesses in the bathroom.

Little do they know that you’re off on a vengeful coffee break.

“How dare you not give us a break in between a two hour lecture!?”

Or maybe your friend has some juicy gossip that needs to be spilt ASAP so you meet up at quad for five minutes … or thirty.

 

“I was taking down notes”

Imagine this.

You get to class early, feeling like a true hero for making it on time for once. You sip some of your caffinated fuel and get youself ready for a productive hour of taking notes.

But wait. What’s that?

“Celine Dion ġejja Malta?! Ommi oħt! I have to message my friends right away!”

And if the lecturer asks why you’re aggressively attacking your keyboard with excitement simply use the words; “I was taking down notes”.

 

“They’re sick today Sir.”

There is nothing more comandable than lying for your course mate during attendance.

Especially with the betryal you feel for having to sit alone in class, knowing full well that they are still passed out in bed after last night’s adventures at Havana … or Nordick … or wait, was it Footloose?

 

“Sorry. Eżatt imtela il-vapur Sir.”

This is for all the Gozitan university students out there.

Having to travel to Malta in order to study at the University of Malta is a hassle and a half. It requires weekly, if not daily, commutes across the sea.

It’s only fair for you to use this excuse in moments when you don’t feel like attending your 8am lecture on Monday after a relaxing weekend with family back home.

Hang in there students, good luck and remember – when all else fails, blame traffic.

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