Being Maltese is truly a blessing.
Because you either get away with doing any or all of the following, or you get the pleasure of seeing others do them and, well, get instant entertainment.
Using hazard lights & parking the car in the middle of the street to get some pastizzi
We’ve all done this one, including myself.
If you’re craving a freshly baked pastizz or qassata tal-irkotta there isn’t time to look for parking, especially during peak times.
Instead, we Maltese tend to leave our car switched on, with our hazards lights on, parked kinda on the side, kinda in the middle of the street for a quick pastizzi run.
Stealing food at weddings
Being invited to a wedding means PARTAYYYY!
Depending on how fancy the wedding is; whether it has a cocktail bar or a sushi stand, we not only have to eat our money’s worth in food, but also wrap as much in napkins to take home with us.
Heq, someone has to feed your little brother when you get home la he wasn’t invited ux?!
Yelling our friend’s name from across the street if we see them walking by
When we see someone we know driving or walking across the street, we don’t care if we’re holding up traffic or not BUT we MUST call out our friends at the top of our lungs (to make sure they hear us) or honk the horn just so we could yell ‘’AW HIJ!!’’
The orange light at traffic lights
The rules for these in Malta are slightly different than you know…the rest of the world. Green means you can drive and keep going; red means stop (if we’re patient enough to stop & not pretend we just missed the orange light!) and orange DOESN’T mean that we start preparing to come to a halt.
That’s only a myth. Orange means press the gas pedal as hard as you can so that you don’t have to stop and wait at the red light.
The way we approach a buffet is just magical
This is a classic #maltesethingtodo. Whenever we want to have a cheat meal or rather a cheat day, or if we’re having a family reunion with all the clan, we tend to suggest a buffet.
Now the trick here is to know how to approach a buffet. Newbies and naysayers will probably just grab two plates, fill them with what they like and call it a day.
Only a true Maltese has mastered the skill of properly tackling a buffet.
It goes like this – when approaching the starter section, get a main course plate and make sure to put in a bit of everything. Doesn’t matter if you don’t eat it all, just get that money’s worth.
Pasta section? Fill it up.
Main course? Fill it up.
Feel like you’re about to throw up and can’t eat dessert? Fill it up and wait 30 minutes, the hunger will come back.
Dim the bright light to signal the other driver to pass & then raising one hand in the air as a way of saying thank you
If you’re in a good mood and you want to give way to another driver who has to cross in front of you, you dim quickly the bright lights a couple of times to signal them to pass.
In return, you’ll get a raised hand as a way of saying thank you for being oh so kind (especially at around 7.30am when everyone is in a rush to get to work!)
Gossiping about people in Maltese while abroad so that people don’t understand us
I admit I love doing this when I’m abroad. We have a tendency to talk in Maltese (a lot more than usual) especially when we’re around foreigners (or so we think they are).
Maaa din xini liebsa?! Just pray that the ‘foreigner’ is an actual foreigner and doesn’t answer back with Jekk ma joghgbokx tharisx hij!